Bare with me as I haven't read any other threads but your husband sounds like a bully and a spoilt child. He sounds far from professional and should be called on it. Please don't have sex with people who you don't feel comfortable. You will enhance your abuse issues I fear and will only deepen your depression. What kind of phychologist doesn't know that?! Gaud! Some people!
There are some threads on appropriate poly behaviour as laid out by many of us here, that isn't to say they are a rule book or anything, but are pointers that have worked for many of us. Check out the threads found in a tag search for "foundations" and "lessons" under search in the task bar.
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