I've never really liked sex with anyone I didn't want to be close to/with. Seems rather contradictory.JRM
Indeed, if sex were a driving force, I suspect one would swing in preference to opening up as poly. I offer that the driving force thus isn't sex, it's the ties of relationship that drives us poly, and sex is just one of many benefits. SC
I feel you both are saying basically the same thing but thru different means....the same with Mono.....since we are all in poly, we have been looking for more than just casual sex as swinging or remaining single would provide. Obviously we all need more. We need to experience a different depth, more layers of the onion, so to speak, than the average horny guy out there, just looking for more sex.
I myself, had a 20+ year long platonic relationship with many deep moments that only recently crossed over into a poly situation with this person, my wife and I. The sharing of this love with another person combined with the sexual component significantly enhances the friendship and our lives. Clearly, we wouldn't be in a poly arrangement without the sexual component, however it most definately is the whipped cream and cherry on the top of the overall relationship, not the basis for the friendship or the poly arrangement.