Originally Posted by MadameSyrinx
Am I doing something wrong?
Unicorn hunters are typically folks looking for a sex toy to spice up their marriages or a substitute for the therapy needed to shore up their failing relationship. Unicorn hunting, by and large (though not universally), a sign that the couple really isn't ready for this poly thing.
If you really want to get involved with a couple, I'll suggest wooing each of the two individually. My wife and I don't date as a couple nor arrive as a matched set, so the only way to get involved with both of us would be to pitch woo to us individually. I suspect that doing so with couples who aren't searching for a unicorn will prove more satisfactory.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.