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Old 08-17-2011, 02:49 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
It's call Saran wrap in North America, but cling wrap is the generic term. (Like Kleenex vs tissue, Q-tip vs cotton swab.)

I don't understand how the femdom would be effective? Unless there are different types of female condoms? The one I'm thinking of looks like an oversized male condom, with a hoop on the inside end (like a grappling hook!) and a bigger hoop on the outside end. It offers relatively little protection to the outside area compared to a dental dam.

Congrats on the no sex though. Hehehe. I can relate.
Thanks for the translation help! And yeah, it's super weird to progress slow-ly for a change. Actually anticipating the first kiss and stuff...weird .

To me, the femdom seemed workable; there's so much rubber hanging outside, you know? At least it felt workable when I did a quick manual inspection of myself while wearing one. For actual intercourse with a real-live penis and all, they are less than optimal, though.

And onwards, to topic 2, aka as why I'm uncomfortable with talking about myself to people I really care about.

I just realized on Monday why I tend not to talk about my own personal difficulties with people I love, those that have no bearing on our relationship - stress, medical problems, sadness etc. I just really don't want to make people worry.

Why? Well if I cause people worry, the sky will fall down! City streets will be covered in blood! The earth shall shatter and oceans will rise and take its place, killing billions on the way!

I don't know what would happen. Something very bad, in any case. So I mustn't, under any circumstances, cause people worry.

Must support others. Must be strong, punctual, have things under control. Must always be reachable. Must not never for no reason turn my phone off. Must talk to people online if they initiate. Must never discuss doctor's appointments or medical complaints. Must never change plans without informing everyone well beforehand. Must never stay too long on any errand.

Otherwise, people will be worried and that's no fun.

So if my head's about to cave in, I will make everything ready for a prolonged absence, get myself ready to go and then make a polite phone call to let them know I'm about to have myself committed to a phychiatric hospital for a few months, and could they please take care of my plants while I'm away?

Because that will surely not create any anxiety and paranoia as to how deeply I'm covering my feelings under a smile and a "I'm good, thanks, and you" in the hearts of my near and dears .

My obsession with my phone, for example, goes back to my mother's approach to wireless communication. She will get absolutely ballistic if I don't respond to her calls. She can call me 29 times and send 18 messages during an hour and a half if I've forgotten my phone somewhere. I can't turn my phone off in a movie theatre without texting her beforehand that my phone will be off for x amount of time and I will call her immediately after the movie ends. And she will always call me if I send the text to make sure - I don't actually know what she's trying to make sure. That I'm alive and it's not somebody else texting from my phone, maybe?

So I fear that other people will answer with extreme anger if I cause them to worry, and will make whatever issue I'm having all about them, how bad they are feeling because I told them about this, how worried they are now for me, how they can't let me do anything now for the fear of the x thing I'm worried and insecure about happening, ending with me having to console them for causing them discomfort with opening up. This is a basic belief about other people I really need to test and work on.
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