Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
This is the "my opinion of her opinion" section LOL! I could be wrong about her thoughts.
Redpepper and I have a different view of sexuality and of sex. I feel it is only something to share with someone I love and, because of my monogamous nature, that love is directed at one person therefore so is my desire to have sex.
I only intimately love on one level. I feel she loves on different levels, such as with our friend her tertiary. She also has always approached sexuality as an area of general interest and takes a lot pleasure in exploring it and discussing it. I am much more private in what happens but am loosening up primarily to share a part of her life I see as very prominent.
Her criteria to have sex is different than mine....relatively simple. I don't see that as her not loving me as much. But yes, I do at times question the criteria she has, but only because mine is so black and white and extremely narrow.
I understood that your original post was strictly your feelings.
And the quote here helps me better understand your position and feelings now.
I guess I just needed a bit of clarification. While I don't know Redpepper's true feelings about sex, I have a feeling that mine align more with hers than with yours (which hasn't always been the case...I used to feel closer to how you do). I have a more relaxed attitude regarding sex. I don't have to be in love with someone I have sex with. But if I love the person I have sex with, there is something different there and in what I feel while having sex. It's hard to describe but I'll go with you on this and describe it as the energy is different. I do not hold myself back during sex with the men I love. I don't trust men other than those I love with certain aspects of my sexuality.
I asked the question about what RP's love is to you because I feel that is the gift she is giving you. Not sex. Sex she shares with you. She enjoys with you. You have input into. She has sex with you because she likes you and loves you.The love she bestows upon you is because you are the person you are. At least speaking for myself, the love I have for Gator and Tech is because they speak to me on a deep level. I can NOT share that with just anyone.
Ok, not saying this well. Let's try this...
While I can have sex with those I don't love, I can NOT love everyone I am capable of having sex with.
That is why I see the love she gives you as the gift....not the sex.