Thank you guys so much! I'm finding it really helpful to have people to talk to who understand that life and relationships are not black and white. For a long time I've tried to talk about my feelings involving my romantic relationships with my friends and I'm finding out that they just don't get it. And they are completely unhelpful in trying to figure this out.
I do find that when I take the risk and open myself up to him and talk about all the things we're going through, I pretty much always feel like we've grown closer through exposing our truest selves to each other. Sometimes my fears just get in my way. And I guess now I finally have somewhere to go and get some help and understanding.
Thanks again everyone! I really appreciate all your input.