Excellent choice of thread JRM!
One of the things that have made communication between me, Redpepper and her husband flourish is the ability to read each others' energy. I will speak more of me and Redpepper as that is where the bulk of my experience lies. My communication with her husband is also based on a great deal of openness but involves less energy insight.
She can immediately see when something is affecting me, she feels it and so do I. I can do the same with her. This prevents any accumulation of even the smallest issue which could feed into a bigger issue.
Communicating isn't always about actually talking in the moment for us. If there is something we need to process we give each other the time. The key here is telling your partner that you are in fact processing and not repressing something. This provides the security and space to formulate thoughts and present issues in a clear manner .Speaking too soon can sometimes lead to confusion and misunderstanding which is frustrating for everyone involved.
Trust is essential to the level of openness in our relationship. Because most of my daily friends, such as co-workers, are traditional monogamists it is difficult for me to engage them in discussions that involve understanding a polyamorous approach to loving. They can be quick to judge and I have a tendency to be quick to defend. I share and learn while trying not to debate and convince.
Redpepper is the most trusted person I have ever had in my life..she is the one I turn to discuss my issues about everything including us! This is a new experience for me and pleasantly forces me to talk although sometimes she needs to push a little LOL!! I am actually glad not to have an “outside” sounding board. For me it propels me deeper into her.
Our level of communication has left both of us completely vulnerable to each other. There used to be fear in this for me, but no longer.