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Old 08-16-2011, 09:27 AM
zylya zylya is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sussex, UK
Posts: 77

Why are you telling them you're in a relationship? I generally don't tell people I'm in a relationship until I want to form a new relationship with them, same way that I wouldn't tell people I was single if that were true. The fact is, I'm free to form relationships and so I go and do that.

Some people think that it's a dishonest policy, but if I ever get asked straight up, I'll give an honest answer, I just don't believe that my OTHER relationships are anyone else's business when I first meet them. Honesty is not the same as verbal diarrhea, you don't tell everyone everything about you when you first meet them, and for me, the status of my other relationships (even if that's a complete lack of relationships ) is something that only concerns me until I'm ready to form a new relationship with the person.

That said, I won't ever give someone false hope for monogamy, I let it be known that I'm not interested in monogamous relationships, but the actual details remain with me until I choose to tell a person.

EDIT (for clarification): When I say I generally don't tell people, what I mean is that people tend to have a lot of loaded expectations about relationships and what they mean, and explaining to them about open relationships etc doesn't mean anything to them. Indeed, I don't view myself in the facebook-style relationship status of single, in a relationship, in an open relationship, but I see myself as either "Free to Pursue Romantic Interests" and "Not Free to Pursue Romantic Interests" (sort of a moot point since I always remain free because of the polyamorous lifestyle I lead, but I include Not Free for completion's sake) - the other relationships don't actually come into it at this stage.

Last edited by zylya; 08-16-2011 at 09:31 AM.
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