Rough night, I spent many hours writing in my journal and thinking and reading on these boards other people's journeys.
This morning I find myself looking at him and thinking... fuck, I'm really going to miss him.
I am not going to stop trying, not going to stop finding what it is that hurts me so much and most importantly why...
I was basically weaned on the reality that sex is about your body and can't touch your soul. Khas taught me it doesn't have to be that way. That sexual intimacy is about sharing that piece of your soul with the person that you *choose*
The thought of him sharing that with someone else, the process of watching his feelings evolve for B and seeing them step slowly and lightly ever closer to that physical emotional and complete sharing .... just leaves me aching and trembling and so very sad.
time to call those damn therapists back... school starts for our daughter tomorrow so I need to focus on that for the rest of today and let this process percolate in the back of my mind instead of the front....
Dance in the rain...