Originally Posted by Satisfiction
Great post sourgirl. I like way you have set out a calm and calculated way to leave. Given that he's not beating you, you can probably afford to take the time to plan things well, rather than ditching and running without a plan.
Psychological abuse, which this is, is still abuse even if you can't see bruises on a person's body. He is an abuser and we can't know that it won't turn more violent.
I worked in crisis centers for a time and I would recommend finding your local center and talking with them. Often they often have legal services and services for children. Also, do you have any family members who would support you during this time and who you might be able to live with? He should not be able to access you and the kids alone. Frankly, restraining orders are not much help.
Don't be afraid that your "lifestyle" will count so much against you. In this case, his will count against him as well. A good lawyer can handle that. The important thing is to get away from the abuse, for yourself and for your kids.