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Old 08-15-2011, 02:25 AM
polycouple polycouple is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CT/RI area
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Originally Posted by Polynessa View Post
Hi!

I am a bisexual woman who met a married man last year. We really tried being friends since he didn't want to split up with his wife and they were in a closed relashionship. We fell in love but still stayed physicaly away from each other.
With time we have formed a relationship with great trust and we love each other. We are both open to polyamoros relationships but none of us have have tried it before. If we were to have a relationship it would be a triad. I agreed to meet his wife and see how it felt, and after a couple of meetings the three of us had sex. This has now happened several times and I like having sex with her and I like her as a person. I have no idea if I can fall in love with her but I do think we could be good friends and have good sex..

They have discussed a triad but she does not yet know if she want it or not. I would like to try it but I am unsure about it. Can you be in a triad if one relationship is more friendly? How can I find room for myself in a established relationship with a house, children and set ways of hanging out/doing things/organizing lives?

I feel like I can't loose anything by trying this but sometimes I find it really hard to be that third person.... Thought I think I could like being three and I do not feel jealous of their relationship...

Any thoughts, please?
I am not very experienced, but I am in a similar rabbit hole as you are. I'm just farther down it! I will say that for me, that feeling of being a third wheel has gotten harder, not easier as time goes by. At first, it was easy for me to be patient with my gfs reservations about giving me an equal place in the relationship (context note: I am in love and with an established couple, but I cannot be intimate with the male, Tom, unless Sarah is there). Now seven months later, I am deeply committed to these two individuals emotionally, yet I am not equal in the relationship, which frustrates me more as time goes on. Just warning you, if it is hard now, it might not get easier.

None-the-less, you are already in love, and if you are anything like me, you will give love a fair shot. It sounds like this woman is open to the possibility of this working out, so it might be worth it to try...
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