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Old 08-14-2011, 08:06 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishcolin83 View Post
Could she have grown fond of just having her portion open?
Doesn't matter. Why she suddenly popped this on you is fairly irrelevant, actually, as the important thing is to figure what to do about it.

Quote:
how is that fair to me.. or us as a couple.
It's not fair to you. It's rather selfish.

So, it's time for some communicating and negotiating. First, do you want a monogamous relationshp? If so, then tell her you're up for it and she needs to tell her boyfriends that she's breaking up with them.

If you're not interested in monogamy, let her know that isn't an option. If she's not interested in continuing with you having multiple partners, then negotiate the divorce.

It's quite simple--though not necessarily easy--to stand your ground on what you require from a relationship. If you require multiple partners, then that's the foundation on which you stand and find partners who are OK with that--and if they change their minds, that's the end of that relationship. Nobody else gets to decide for you.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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