Well, guys or gals, doesnt matter. I think it is quite common to "carry a torch" for exes sometimes, especially if you only broke up because of circumstances, such as one moving away, and not because of irreconcilable differences.
Is you wife fine with you going out on one on one dates with the 2 local exes? Would she be fine with you resuming intimacy with them, or being sexual with your newer poly friend? That's where being poly comes into the mix.
How old are your kids? Do they still need a lot of care? How much time do you have, really, for nurturing your kids, and your wife, as well as pursuing other women?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37