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Old 08-14-2011, 10:52 AM
Chimera Chimera is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 66

Originally Posted by Sofia View Post
For him personally, I think he stands to find a great companion and friend in my other love, S. .
I know there are other threads on poly/mono issues, but this statement seems to me like a red flag in any poly relationship. I don't think it's just about Sofia; it seems to be a common idea for many people, especially in the beginning.

I don't think being a friend with a partner/lover's "others" should be a goal from the outset in a poly relationship. I think that folks must get along on a minimal level and everyone should be treated with respect. Yes, it would be fabulous if everyone got on really well. But, it seems like a ton of pressure to put on people to assume that everyone must be friends. My partner had a lover who I couldn't stand. She was arrogant and selfish. We had issues at first since she was rude to me -- this got taken care of -- but I didn't want to ever be around when she was over, etc. etc.
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."James Baldwin
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