Poly heart Plagued with Jealousy
I have posted a few times about my situation with my BF and GF. Long story short, they were an established swinger couple, together for almost five years when they met me. I was initially a casual relationship, but early on sparks flared, personalities clicked, we spent every day together and fell deeply in love, the three of us, all in love.
The biggest challenge in the relationship can be boiled to the fact that our GF, Sarah, is insecure and jealous. Small manifestations of this crop up daily, for instance she got very emotional the other day when she found out that Tim and I took his motorcycle to my house. She felt like riding on his bike was something special she had, and worried that there would "be nothing left for her." The biggest impact her jealousy has on our relationship is her restricting Tom and I, by not "allowing" us to be intimate when she is not around. This is the most frustrating aspect of the relationship. I show her how much I care, shower her with love, communicate honestly with her about my feelings (good and bad), help her family when they are in need, and see her whenever I can. I also, constantly support, affirm, and take joy in the love that Tom and Sarah share. I actively support their intimacy, private time, and special bond. Despite all of this, she still cannot find joy and comfort in the love that Tom and I share.
I guess I am just venting here mostly but I would love some words of encouragement, that she will be able to move on from her all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking and move towards an appreciation for the truly amazing gift of love that we all three share. The longer this unfair dynamic persists, the harder it becomes for me to project the love that I feel, and the more I start to consider giving up.