I'm so lucky to have such good friends here!
I'm not giving up Butch (it sounds like that in my OP). But I have to keep things good with Sundance too. I was trying to shirk my responsibilities. I began to see Sundance as an obligation, and forgot what a joy he is to be married to. He really is. I've been a real jerk to him lately. Actually I suppose part of me knew he'd never go all the way with someone else as long as I was being nice. So it was a bit manipulative of me, and I'm ashamed of myself for that. Well, I got my come-uppance, I guess! "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it"?
If HE wants to stay on with the girlfriend, I think I'll be ok with it. We can work through that. I do still have some hopes that I will meet her someday. Sundance said we would actually suit each other well as friends. I love that idea. He says she may be open to it, too. He has told her he will never divorce me, that we are best friends and he wants to stay with his family.
I just don't want him going to her because he is being abused and neglected at home. That's what was happening. I feel so bad.
Also, no matter what he was telling her, I suspect she thought it was only a matter of time before he'd get sick of my ill treatment and run to her. Truth be told, I think it would have happened eventually if I hadn't gotten my head out of my ass.
I'm scared to think how close I could have come to that. I never want to lose him, he is so good! And we've got a great thing going.
Now I can go back to fantasizing how nice it would be to have her in our midst, both of us loving her. I know much of their relationship so far has been lust and fucking, but I suspect that LOVE between us all can be so much more rewarding. I'm not excluding sex
just saying that I know my husband. He is like me, more than he knew -- sex without love is ok, but with love, it's simply divine.
Ugh, I'm tearing up! Gotta go get ready for our lovely night. Thanks to all of you here on this forum. Poly is crazy, people! But it really can be crazy good. Wow, thanks so much.