Originally Posted by River
He said he thinks women are just biologically driven to be possessive and desire exclusivity in love.
First of all, possessiveness and the desire for exclusivity in love have nothing to do with biology. Love is not biologically driven, but emotionally driven.
If we were to look at what women are biologically driven to do, it would be to seek out males to breed with who have the potential to give her viable offspring.
I come from a child and family studies perspective, so I will say that women seem to be more capable of expressing their emotions than men, which to me and one of my former professors, to point towards women being more likely than men to enter into polyamorous relationships.
Social conditioning would dictate that men have the expectation of sexual and emotional exclusivity in relationships; as well as the ideology that women belong to them. From our patriarchal and puritan background, here in the US, I would say that we have a history of a double standard between how men and women could behave sexually. Men were, and in some cases still are, expected to have affairs. I had a friend tell me that men were biologically programmed to cheat. So she expected that her fiance would (and told him as much) but as long as she never found out about it all would be well.... so basically she gave him a blanket you can cheat but don't get caught that he never understood. But women were, and in some areas still are, expected to remain loyal to their husbands no matter what.
As for women being ill suited to poly, I don't believe that either gender is ill suited to poly as a whole; but that those who have a deeply ingrained social conditioning towards exclusivity and are possessive in other aspects of their life will have a more difficult time accepting poly.
As for me personally, does that mean I never feel possessive of my loves? Ofcourse not. There are times when we're having sex, making love, or just plain fucking that I hear that primitive voice in my head saying "mine" but at the same time I want them to make me theirs. We all want to belong, to find the place where we fit and feel safe and loved. In my case, I have many people that give me that sense of home and happiness.