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Old 08-12-2011, 11:22 PM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633


Firstly whenever I read "mono/poly" something twists inside me. mono/poly is actually 'monopoly' and the very first thing a monogamous person has to come to terms with is that they can never have a monopoly over a polyamorous person. That's why I always refer to it as 'polymono'. Might sound silly but for me there is a depth of meaning in words.

Mono I feel very similar to you about giving advice and I think it is a wonderful idea to ask questions rather than share our experiences which will could very well colour their experiences. I am quite surprised by your first question though "Does she feel truly monogamous?" . I thought in that workshop you did with RP you tried to get away from the whole idea of labels? I'm wondering at the moment if we actually do ourselves a disservice by identifying so strongly with monogamy. It is a label that initially gives us comfort, context and a tribe but I don't think it does us much good long term.

What I found recently is that a lot of pain has come up from me, triggered by polyamory but actually having nothing to do with polyamory. It's old childhood stuff. The whole mono persona just added an unnecessary layer of cultural baggage that I had to address before getting to the real issues.
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