Originally Posted by nycindie
I agree. I don't know where this "she's the mother of my children" thinking is coming from. Everything else you've ever written about her would indicate that you've lost all respect for her and are still hopping mad about everything. In fact, I'm not sure you have much respect for women in general, as human beings and individuals. When you first started posting here, you seemed so wrapped up in how much money you spent on her and the marriage. I doubt if you could ever see a woman as a partner, you seem to think that paying for so many things gives you privilege. As for your wife, you've already said the romance is gone, so why are you considering this? To lord it over her how magnanimous you are? She might wind up paying an even bigger price emotionally to go back with you because you are still so full of disgust and animosity toward her.
INdeed, when I read DH's first few posts ever I thought, "here is someone who is deeply hurt and has been given a raw deal in many ways, kudos to him for being strong, etc. etc." but when the shit hit the fan with the daughter finding the x-rated media starring her mother, it became clear that there were other issues coming to the surface. At one point, I suggested that DH still does love his wife in some ways and if that be the case, he should dig deep for some empathy and compassion, and help her get help, etc. but I seem to recall that was rejected outright in favor or some snide remarks about how much money was spent and does he get any of that back. Well, if that's the road you want to go down, just make sure it's done right this time.
DH, you might want to consider this kind of accounting with the other women you're seeing. You know, if things go south, you each have to pay back half what you spent on the other during the course of the relationship. It could save you a world of aggravation and a wall o' text down the road.