Oh I'm so sorry your heart hurts violet. I know that feeling all to well. Its hard to move, think... even swallow in that kind of pain. I'm so sorry you are going through that.
When I have felt like that in the past I have come to know that it has meant something is really wrong and that I am off my life path somehow. Almost like its a message from the universe (insert religious belief here).
I agree with the others on here that picking it apart over time and with space away from everyone and talking it out is really all you can do. It sounds like you have started that already in terms of talking it out with HMA and PMing others.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM