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Old 10-23-2009, 07:34 PM
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GreenGecko GreenGecko is offline
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Okay, so I'm new here, and probobly won't be here often simply because there's no time and I'm really not much into threads and forums, but I figure I should come say a piece or two so that everyone can get a little more introspective on the relationship involving LR,Maca and I. BTW, up to this point I've been refered to as "C". I decided to call myself GreenGecko because of who I feel I represent in the V. Maca doesn't think we're a tryst, and to be honest, I'm not sure about all the def's, but the Gecos pic on my profile (and soon my avatar) explains a lot.

A few years ago, we all went to Hawaii. LR/Maca went first for a week, then I followed with the kids, everyone together for another week. During that time, Maca/I made a lot of progress in our own personal relationship. This is after the affair, and other things. We were also discussing some other... important details involving the future of our relationship as a whole, or rather as a family. Wow... there's actually a lot that hasn't been discussed, that people don't know about this V. Sorry, I'm just now realizing this. Well... During our time in Hawaii, we stopped in this little shop if trinkets, and I came across this wooden carving of thre gecos forming a circle. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to get it for Maca, because it helped explain our relationships together. LAter on before we left to go back home, I stopped in again and bought it. I kept it for a while, and decided to paint it. The colors represent each of us. Might be hard to tell in the pic, but the carving has two gecos, mouths touching at the top, and another geco below wrapping tails with one, and biting the tail of the other. The one being bitten is the largest of the three, that one seems to be kissing the other, whose tail is wrapped around the one on bottom biting the tail of the large one. SO, in my mind, the large one was red because it represented Maca, the "head" of the family, also (being radically honest here) the one needing the most attention, or having the most needs. Also he's quick tempered and firey, the one that feels he's been burned the most and feels he has the right to burn others because of it. The one he's kissing was obviously LR, I colored her purple because it's her favorite color. She's kissing the red one, so to me they were both equally important because they were loving together and both at the head, or top. The purple one's tail is wrapped around the green one (that's me). LR, from the very begining of our relationship 16 years ago, has always seemed to do better when I'm around, when I'm near, when she can look at me, hear me, feel me. that helps her know she's safe and will be okay doing whatever it is she needs to do/ deal with. The gren one is also biting the red one in the ass (or on the tail) which I have done numerous times over the last decade. Trying my best to help him, trying to help THEM, trying to make him realize there's more than just HIS problems in the world. Trying to get him to pay attention. The preverbial 2x4 to the head.

Only recently has that point been recognized by Maca, and I thank him for that, and I thank you all on this board that have helped him see things clearer and helped him search inside himself to find who he really is.

There's more to the carving, but that's enough for now as my time to type is very near the end for today.

In a nutshell, RP, what I do get out of this relationship is not about sex, or about getting what I'm due. What I get out of it is love. I have been in love with LR for nearly 20 years, I have been by her side, and helped her whenever I could for almost that entire time. Maca is her husband, and I now she loves him as much as she loves me. And needs him as well, and so because of everything we've been through, after the pain and suffering, the efforts, and the laughter and tears, I have come to love Maca too. Entirely different reasons than LR of course, but... this is my family. I feel a purpose in being involved and a duty to protect this family's best interests. Maca feels differently, I know, and there's atill a lot of ground to cover. I'm not all about "what's fair to me" like he is most times, but he's got different insecurities than I do. This family is important and usually my first priority, but I have been commited to LR for half my life, and that will never change.

I am seemingly mono, to her poly, and Maca... well he's not sure where he sits just yet. But I love everyone involved. My loyalty will always be with LR, but Maca and the kids are so important to me as well.

It's been difficult to actually become friends with him because he's usually so defensive and insecure. These last few weeks have been mind boggoling and I'm so proud of him for his efforts and awakenings, but I hope that he can continue to allow us all to be ourselves, and be ourselves TOGETHER.

LR/I get some time together, and over the years, we've found our intamacy in mere moments. Often just a glance, or a blink says so much. There were times that our hearts could hardly stand not being able to have tha intamacy, but we manage. Sometimes it gets physical, but not nearly as often as we'd like, and not nearly as often as anyone might think, including Maca. We've never kissed in front of him, and haven't felt the need. I have no issues (now, but I did for a long time because of my on insecurities) with their sex life, I don't mind at all that they sleep in the same bed every night. Sometimes it's anoying when he keeps calling or texting when LR/I are trying to have a few minutes of just "being" as we refer to it. But we all have our needs.

So, On that note, I'm going to get ready for work. Nice ot meet you all. Red Pepper, Mono, I hear a lot about you and I want to thank you for all your thoughts, they've helped very much for Maca/LR. I'll be back again, till then, have fun!
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Last edited by GreenGecko; 10-23-2009 at 08:56 PM. Reason: typing too small
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