Not to be harsh, but...
This quote stopped me cold:
"dedicate the rest of her life making it up to me and the kids"
I am new here and do not know your story at all, but that phrase makes me shudder. Who would say that and really mean it? And if they did, I sure wouldn't want it for them or for you. What a train wreck of a phrase.
If you want it, I would tell her that you can be friends. Meet in neutral, public places. Go bowling. I would not enter into a romantic relationship. Anyone who says something like that needs a really good therapist.