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Old 08-11-2011, 11:38 AM
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JaneDoe41 JaneDoe41 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Southeast USA
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Thanks again for the interest in my thread.

My last husband, the father of my son, was militantly monogamous. One catalyst for our divorce was that I had a friendship with a man (albeit non-sexual) and he was extremely jealous and deemed that friendship inappropriate. He went so far as to vent to our son that mommy was "cheating". It was overblown and I feel really inappropriate information for a then-8 year old to try to digest. Because my son has received such disturbing information, he has a very conflicting concept of sexuality and what "cheating" means. I have no idea how to begin to explain poly love.

His father is still heavily involved in his life, and as such, he is still receiving large doses of his father's so-called "morality". Furthermore, I live in Tennessee, and there is a well-known court case here where custody was stripped from a poly mother who "came out". I fear that should my child have too much information about the nature of my relationship with Randy, his innocent discussion of it with his father could lead to more overblown reactions and a possible custody battle. My son's in therapy and he's still recovering from the divorce. Perhaps the time will come when he's mature enough to accept another man in my life, but a man with another girlfriend, I'm not so sure, because of the programming he's received and still receives from his father.

My relationship with Randy and Vivian is important to me. I love Randy and he loves me back, and Vivian is supportive of our relationship, and I appreciate her. I'm just not willing to risk drama and turmoil with my ex over my son. That's why I just want to be quiet and stay happy for now. I've been through a lot of pain in my marriages and I just feel that I deserve some happiness even if it comes in a non-traditional form.

Thanks for reading. Thoughts?
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