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Old 08-11-2011, 03:44 AM
polycouple polycouple is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CT/RI area
Posts: 55
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@ Satisfaction:

The work of Ken Wilbur has been so influential in my life when it comes to my outlook on life! I don't typically meet people who know his work, so I think it is neat that you are into his work!


As for a response to Mono:

How I manage my emotions really depends on the day. I guess I have a bit of a tool kit. One tool I could never do without is the ability to step away from a situation when I am highly emotional. At that point I turn to my mom or my best friend and just vent. I know they are two people who I can say anything and they will not judge me, but they will always offer candid advise. I trust there intuition about many situations, so I usually take their advise, but they also respect me enough to know that in the end I will make the choice that I think is right.

I don't struggle too much with my own emotions usually, but one problem I consistently encounter is challenges around managing others emotions. I am an extremely empathetic person. It is both a gift and a curse. In poly it can cause me to really put myself in unfair situations because I can manage my emotions to deal with unfairness if it makes my lover/s happy, but I then eventually become fed up with the sacrifices, and end up feeling taken advantage of, and uncared for.

I'm dealing with that right now in the seven month triad I am in. I started dating an established couple who were experienced swingers, yet totally inexperienced with poly. We fell in love, and got close really fast. Now seven months later, after seeing them almost every day, she is still not comfortable with him and I doing anything fun while she is at work including anything sexual. It's immensely frustrating, and even more so it's hurtful that she is so willing to deprive us. We've just started dealing with the issue, and she finally agreed to commit to working towards a more fair relationship including intimacy when she is not there. I have never dealt with something so emotionally challenges. Love someone so much, yet feeling so stifled and restricted by them at the same time...ok, sorry about the rant....but I guess it's all related to emotions.
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