Originally Posted by IsntLifeFun
So now we're dealing with me having misled her.
You didn't mislead her. You had a revelation about yourself. You wrote, "I've been going 20 years thinking there's something wrong with me..." That's no reason to think you were misleading her. I think it would be more important to look forward and figure out how you will manage this new stage of your life, rather than looking backward and searching for possible deceptions to "come to terms with." The past is done.