Hi, I am Jakobead. I feel compelled to write something, say something, or somehow put myself out into the poly community. I am a young (22) male in the military currently serving in Afghanistan, just a few weeks ago I stumbled upon the poly community and have been absorbing as much information as possible and am amazed.
I just got out of a marriage with a woman who I had been with for five years and love deeply. While we were fantastic together we had never been separated for more than a day or two and when we made the decision to enlist after two years of marriage. I went away and over the time we were separated for training she became a reclusive alcoholic unknown to me until the hospital bills started coming. She became dangerously underweight, had a number of strokes, and went into stress induced menopause at 21. This all happened during another major life event, I met a woman who I fell horribly in love with. I was ashamed, we knew we were in love and both of us had spouses so we stayed apart physically. I had felt inclinations towards other females before, felt like I was falling in love, always justifying this to myself as being young or a test of my love for my wife. This was inexplicable I had never felt this way for another woman before and the only thing stronger than that was my desire to stay with my wife and remain true to her.
My wife called said she was sick and couldn't see me any more, this combined with the orders to deploy right out of training ended it, she moved to Europe without warning and sent signed divorce papers in the mail. I stay in contact with the other woman on and off, but an honest relationship with her is impossible at this point due to her circumstance.
I have really identified with what I have read so far about polyamory and when I look inside myself I see the capacity to love more than one and realize that I have most likely in some form done this my entire life. I have a lot more I feel like writing but I will cut it off here. Thanks for reading.