Vodkafan, I am also glad you posted what you've been going through, as I have been thinking about you ever since you told me. But I wanted to give you space. Please remember my offer to have further conversations if you need someone to talk to. You have my private email.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein