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Old 08-09-2011, 04:10 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

How important is self esteem in the creation of healthy, loving relationships?

If I wouldn't date me, why one earth would anyone else? Having no self-esteem makes you feel like a fraud if and when you miraculously end up in a romantic relationship. Boy, if only they would know what I'm really like, they wouldn't give me the time of day/would turn their backs on me/abandon me for their OSO.

In poly, self-esteem issues are one of the surest ways to end up with heaps of drama.

How is self esteem furthered where it is insufficient?

I have mantras, such as "I'm a good friend, a good partner and a good family member. If someone doesn't get that, their loss" or "Those who know me best love me the most".

On a scale of 0 -10, with 0 being the least and 10 being the most of healthy self esteem, where is your average placement on the scale over the last year?

9 I would think.

Has your placement on that scale changed in recent time?

Yes. I was in a really dark, frightening place some three years ago.

If yes, why/how do you think it has changed?

Gradually, with the help of medication that helped me put my inner chatter at rest for long enough for any true introspection to be possible. I have remembered things from my past that now fall in context and explain why I was so afraid of anyone seeing the real me for so long. Coming out on various things to various people and realising that they won't stop loving me or start treating me any differently when they get to know more about me.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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