RC, glad you're figuring out a workable position.
Given the many ups and downs, you might also consider what steps you would need to take if everything goes sour again. In simple terms, have the groundwork laid in place for both a successful path and an alternative path. Perhaps knowing that you have either option will give you some security in case of roadblocks.
Also, I agree with you that having a non-participating female friend / advisor would help you and is reasonable. I also agree with RedPepper in being concerned that such a friend could evolve into something that complicates the situation. Having that friend is ok, but keep it to just friends.
Best of luck.