AnotherConfused wrote: "Can you love your girlfriend as a friend (with or without the extras) and seek someone else for your full time partner?"
My reply: Thanks AC, Your friends story does seem like mine... I'm sorry for their pain for I know exactly how it feels. I think I am able now to actualize that even though M and I do share some deep significant connections I can't expect her to want what I do. I think I'm finally able( at least tonight...) to stop hoping for more. I don't know what is changing but something is letting reality become ... real. Thanks for helping with that.
Satisfaction wrote: "I was once in a relationship like you are, and I knew deep down that it was not what I really wanted. I think you know this too."
My reply: Im not so sure about that... I can live with differences and iddiosincricies, I actually enjoy them ( to a point of course) BUT the person I'm with must want to "live" with mine. I do hope to find someone who shares my relationship "ideals". I'm very glad for you that you have found yours! That gives me hope! Thank you
Nicothoe, thanks for tour thoughts also. I also feel lonely.
PickMoreDaisies wrote: I would suggest...and this is only my opinion...that you carry on with this woman that you obviously care a great deal about, take it for what it is, enjoy the time that you spend together and also leave yourself open to finding someone who can meet your needs for something live-in. I would agree that there is nothing wrong with wanting this. i just wouldn't want to give up on the great connection that you have with this woman to get it.
My reply: I do care a great deal for her and I hope she can always be in my life, I finally think it's sinking in and I am accepting of what is.
Thanks again everyone.
P.s. M and I spoke tonight for the first time in a couple of weeks. She had a very "eventfull" weekend with a very sick elderly dog, being helped by caring friends, one of which may be back in her life after leaving for similar issues as I am facing, went on a date with a new friend. She called to thank me for my offer to help. Who knows... This may just work out... Differently than how I wanted but ok.