Here's my question: for any of you who have partners who are monogamous, what was the process of acceptance like for them? A lot of what I'm seeing is stuff I already know [and my partner knows as well]. What happens when they reach a point that they understand what's behind their feelings? What can they do to start working through those kinds of thoughts and accepting me being with other partners?
Right now, it's very frustrating - for HIM as much as it is for me - because he does understand the things that cause these reactions. On an intellectual level he doesn't agree with them, so he's being someone he doesn't want to be. He feels guilty because he's also polyamorous and sees me managing with him having other partners but can't give me the same freedom. He has negative reactions and we're able to sit down and discuss, pinpoint exactly what bothers him and where it's coming from.
But HOW do we deal with the actual negative reactions? As much as I'd like to be patient and understanding, it hurts when he says/does the things he does... not even just when I'm actually with anyone else but when he just gets in his head, thinking about it.
And what do we do at this point? We get what the issue is, we don't get how to move forward? As I said, we are looking for a counselor, but I'm just wondering if any of you guys have insight/personal experience that might help.