Thread: Hello from NY!
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:52 PM
MRC2009 MRC2009 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 15

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
I'd say Kudos for at least taking the time to think about what rules or boundaries you would need to be safe. I'm curious about your husbands disagreement with so many, and his motivations towards poly...unless the list read something like, Rule #1: Be Monogamous, Rule #2: Don't sleep with anyone but me, Rule#3: Don't get anyone pregnant but me...etc etc....which while possibly valid rules for traditional marriage, it would make for a very short non-discussion for any kind of open or polyamorous relationship.

Not knowing the other rules, I'll stick with the hot ticket item...Don't knock up other people! Yeah...this is HUGE. I had a similar conversation with my wife, which we are still circling around each other a bit since she has basically the same rule for me. Except that my response was opposite...something to the effect of "Well DUH, of course not!"
A couple of days after learning about my husband being Poly I decided to buy a journal. I figured that if I had any questions, thoughts, "rules" and what not about Poly that I would right it down (for future use). Here are the rules that I have written down: 1) At NO time will any other female become pregnant by my husband. 2) NO unprotected sex!! Ever->For no reason! No glove, No LOVE!!! 3)At this current moment I am not comfortable with sleepovers. At no time have I told him to be only monogamous with me. Nor have I told him that he can't sleep with anyone else. Though I did ask that he not just sleep with anyone and everyone.

Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
You should be able to get plenty of both here, inlcuding mono people in relationships with poly's. I'm curious about your last couple statements, in giving Poly a try (is that for yourself, or would you be planning to maintain a monogamous relationship with him while allowing him to carry on in a poly type fasion?) as well as wanting a BF if you aren't trying to be poly yourself? Or is the BF just for show & tell? Payback? Equity?
I can tell you that I would NOT take on a BF for show & tell, Payback or equity. I consider myself monogamous, though I'm not against trying something new. Everything is so new for me right now. I honestly don't know if I could ever have a BF or GF. I guess only time will tell!
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