So, we got another bad bought of news. Emphasis on WE!
Jewell took is hard and fucking gave me crap all day long. She is in a bad mood, can't blame her too much, but took it out on me. All of my
skeletons got drug out of the closet. Lets drag up my horrible depression bought I had last year. Lets drag up my mother being an asshole. Lets drag up me being with another person.
Here I am working my ass off. Yesterday, I had a teething woogie I dealt with and still managed to get all the school work done with The Dew. I am constantly being with the kids. I live and breath them. I do what farm projects I can. I am the main one running to town for errands and laundry. I have also got a hell of a lot of cleaning and feeding to do. Plus the kids are so ranged in age that they really need me to take one on one to play with them the way they can. Woogie can't throw a ball for The Dew to bat yet. The Dew does get on Woogies level and has a blast. I also help Lover out a lot on his farm. Plus I have senior level school starting in two weeks.
I haven't had sexytime with Lover in over a week. We didn't get anything on sat, I rushed home on Tues, I gave up my night yesterday. Its not right. I am dealing with the same shit she is and she fells more entitled to take it out on me. Mind you I am the closest person to her, but still she is mixing venting and attacking. I mean she even threatened the big D. WTF? So once I did get my baring I did rip her a new asshole, about three times.
Seriously, this morning she is sitting in the truck sipping her Monster without anybody bothering her while I am covered in chips and juice, and dealing with the kids. I don't have anyone to really vent to. I donít feel like it would be right to cry on Lovers shoulder. I of course don't have any friends outside this dynamic, or a mother that looks past her own nose. My eyes hurt from crying, my tongue is still clenched between my teeth. I do have both kids cuddled up to me right now. The Dew is coloring a long lost coloring book, The Woogie is looking at a book.