Originally Posted by Minxxa
So in a sense it seems like a lot of these little things will have to be negotiated each time, not once for everybody.
Yep! And it's not somethin I realised. Everyone is different, so certain boundries, rules, thoughts are not going to work. Definitaly a lesson learned.
This why communication is so important. Because it's not always going to work the sameway and sometimes you won't realise until it happens.
Like my shower trigger. It was a trigger because he had cheated with Cricket. Because Cookie is out in the open I'd prefer he come home and get in the shower.
When we talked about it the other night you could see the lightbulb in his brain. But until I said something, he had no way of knowing the rule had changed until I voiced it.
And the bed thing, you're totaly right. I think it's comfort level. I had no problem with Panda being in my bed. And as long as the sheets get changed, no issue with Cookie being there. But I didn't have that comfort level with Cricket, so I wasn't okay with her being in my bed.
It's very interesting to me the way comfort levels effect boundries and triggers.