Originally Posted by nycindie
Ah, you should see if you can find this movie: Gabriela (1983). A very sensuous and untamed peasant woman (Sonia Braga) works for a cafe owner (Marcello Mastroianni) and becomes his mistress. They have wild passionate sex all the time -- on the cafe tables, half out of a window, everywhere -- until he marries her. Suddenly, this uneducated and sexually open woman is now expected to stop running around barefoot like a peasant, and attend poetry readings because she is his wife and needs to be respectable and proper. Eventually, they don't enjoy sex anymore and she's miserable. So she sleeps with someone else, he has the marriage annulled, and they're back on the cafe tables fucking their brains out!
It's a totally hot film and very enjoyable, but the important part is about how ingrained these Madonna/whore complexes are in men, even when they're supposed to be open-minded (I saw it when it first came out and don't know if you can find it anywhere. I've only seen short clips from it on YouTube.)
Fascinating! I'll definately try and get that movie!
Well I can say from personal experience that I and all the men I know are pretty insecure about sex. It's a competitive dominance thing. If I think another man is taking a position of power over my woman it makes me feel undermined. Men do this stuff to each other all day long, the silent power play between who is in control, and women are a focal point for this.
Because monogamy is so ingrained it's part of our automatic social power play. So if I'm seeing a girl and I know she's seeing other guys at the same time, I feel very insecure and I most certainly wouldn't want to meet the other guys and talk to them because there's this competitive struggle.
It would take a lot of personal insight and self control for a lot of men to learn to overcome this insecurity. I'm not sure about women, maybe it's the same, I'm not all that in tune with how women's social politics works.
It seems to me that I could overcome the fear of other men being with my girl, it's just a matter of learning to trust in her adoration and commitment to me.
I imagine it would be much easier if I as a trusting friend of the men my partner was sleeping with. Obviously though in today's world that's not going to be practical most of the time. I can imagine it would be difficult to get into the whole group love thing, as it would be hard to find many partners who are poly aware.
Those are all my insights having no experience in poly relationships of course! But I have to say I'm really liking the idea of poly relationships. It feels like it's what I've always wanted but had never even heard about.