Thread: Hello from NY!
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Old 10-22-2009, 09:08 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Originally Posted by MRC2009 View Post
I laughed when you said that it is generally easier for women to find partners then men. My husband seems to think the opposite! He has said (more than once) that he could have someone in less than a month but that it would take me awhile to find someone (if I could at all).
Are you serious???

Is it only me that finds that totally inappropriate and rude for him to suggest much less say??
I happen to KNOW it's generally easier for women to find someone then men (lots of theories on why) but I would NEVER suggest something so harsh to Maca! That is just RUDE.
I make a point of reminding Maca that he's a sexy, intelligent, wonderful person who people do and will find attractive and loving. I would never do anything to make him doubt himself-that is NOT loving...

As to the pregnancy thing-I am the poly one in our marriage. Maca is fixed. That was one of HIS first statements-no babies, safe sex. I didnt' even blink. OF COURSE that is reasonable. Things could change at any time-but rules must be made based on NOW and as RP said in Maca's thread earlier-rules get changed as they are no longer fitting.
Why on EARTH would he want to consider making a baby with someone else right now??? I could see the possibility if you end up with woman who becomes close to you both either a solid strong V or a triad and had years behind you that you could confidently assure a high likelihood of permanence in the relationship of renegotiating that rule. But now???? NO WAY.

To just blow it out of the water like that is also RUDE and UNLOVING.

Big red flag for me.

I agree with communication -and lots of it needed now. Also-one more suggestion off the top of my head. Discuss that rules for now are FOR NOW and that both of you will be changed as time passes (even if you stayed monogomous) so as things change you need to be able to renegotiate and reconsider.

Also-if veto power is instated, it needs to go both ways. No favoritism...
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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