WW, it sounds like you are trying to be as gentle and loving (and honest) as you can. Admirable. Follow your gut. I'm thinking of the lyrics to a song recorded years ago by John Denver and Placido Domingo, called "Perhaps Love":
... and some say love is holding on, and some say letting go....
And another song by Marie Digby, called "There's a Beauty in Walking Away."
Truth is going to have to trump happiness this time, I think. Short term -- oh, the heartache! But long term -- it's for the best.
Married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy