I hear you saying you feel you're supposed to be the rock and the caretaker to him and your kids. And you think you'll be abandoned if you cant be the clear headed and physically capable one 24/7.
This seems to be core issue. it kinda rings home to me, esp as I am middle aged and have more and more trouble with my aging body, joint pain, high blood pressure, some hearing loss I have to get checked out... etc.
Since my gf is handicapped, as I mentioned, however, and just because she is kind, she makes allowances for me (even though she's 22 years younger than me and all young and lively and strong). After all marriage vows often include to "cherish... in sickness and in health." That includes care and feeding and all that.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
A standing prick hath no conscience. --Bill Shakespeare
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 60, poly-dating, and loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 38