I feel the same way about primary/secondary than rory. I don't want to use those terms, because they don't represent how I feel. I know they don't always mean that primary's needs come first, but I just don't have any reason to say that the other one is my primary partner. We don't have any kids but in theory I could see myself having them with either one (or both) of my partners. In practice rory doesn't want kids and I'm not too sure if I want them either. Anyway, my point is that I could see myself making all kinds of life-changing decisions with both my partners. Maybe not right now, since we've only been together for four months, but just like in any other relationship: when we're ready for it.
My live-in partners: rory
My metamour: Lily (rory's partner)