IG, for a moment when reading this I thought you must have been someone I know. Much of your story sounds just like his, but he is 4 or 5 years down the road from where you are now. Naturally everyone's life is unique, but here's how things turned out for my friend and his girlfriend. For 4 or 5 years, they were in a relationship (not open). He wanted her to move in with him. She wanted to keep her own home an hour or so away. She would come stay with him 3 nights a week. He always wanted more. Sometimes she said she would eventually want more too, and sometimes she said she just couldn't. A few times they broke up over it, and got back together. Several months ago they finally called it quits, after years of struggle, and it has been terrible for both of them. They love each other dearly but the constant push-pull made it too stressful all the time. I think if they had ended it much sooner they would have saved themselves a lot of heartache and grief.
Can you love your girlfriend as a friend (with or without the extras) and seek someone else for your full time partner?