NYC wrote: "Wouldn't being in contact with her on the days you're not physically together take care of that?"
My response - Nope, not for me. I understand what you are saying I think. I understand the concept but I am most happy and desire everyday physical ie. live in contact.
You brought up a good point about bf and gf vs. Being married or at least living together. Your right, we do not live together nor are we married. None of this is a surprise to me... M has stayed her course consistantly. She has never led me to believe she wanted a live in situation and has always maintained more or less utter bafflement as to why anyone would want to get married... I on the other hand love the idea of being married... I was married twice, once perhaps to young and the other marriage I ruined by cheating. I learned from both of them, unfortunatly at a great cost, about what I want and need. Now I am being open and honest about it.
Well.. That's not quite acurate. She can not picture herself getting married, even as a child she says it didn't make sense to her.
I know all this... However, M is the only person I have ever known who truly accepts me as I am... I feel foolish for not being able to let go.
NYC wrote: "but it could be that the pain she's feeling is not really about the frequency of being with you but about the fact that you're feeling unsatisfied with what she wants. Maybe the feeling that she will always disappoint you is what is draining on her."
i believe this to be true...
NYC wrote: "BTW, is this a poly or a mono/poly situation?"
Niether really... M said she was "done" talking of an ongoing but improving double standard issue I have( a great source of frustration for me that I have trouble dealing with her "others" when I have my own "others").. Although I have Significantly downgraded it to the point of acceptance with some joy felt that she is enjoying the 'company' of another. I like to talk... Need to talk.. She is tired of it. I have tried to honor that.
So basicly we are "taking a break", I hav'nt seen her for over two weeks, some texts and an email.
Anyway, M has a "favorite bud" that lives about 2 hours a way that she communicates with almost daily ( I think) texts mostly ( he's a good guy), and they get together every month or so, she communicates with a couple of guys farily regularly that she's met online but hasn't met in person. She has recently started communicating with an old friend and they went out to diner recently and I think she has a diner date this weekend with one of her online friends.
I have an old friend that was "more" that I see every other week or so for a beer. She has 2 significant others that she wouldn't disclose that she and I were physical so I stopped the sexual aspect and have been t
encouraging her to be truthful with them. No more deciet for me... also have two mf couples that I get together with every few weeks for threesomes. I recently started meeting with one of the couples wife alone *AT HER HUSBANDS REQUEST* and her consent for an hour or so before her husband joins us... I was aprehensive about this but he really seems to like thinking of she and I being together alone then joining in. A big part of my couples thing is I really like helping the couple enjoy each other even more. Knowing I
helped give them together as a couple pleasure is a large part of it for me.
I honestly don't know if that is poly... I know it's not mono!
Last edited by islandgy9; 08-05-2011 at 04:01 AM.
Reason: Forgot something