Minxxa - Yeah, that makes sense. I know Romeo does have a hard time identifying and verbalizing emotions (and I guess in a lot of ways that's just a "guy thing"). I'm going to try bringing him with me to my therapist this week. Usually she's just my therapist, but she also sees us together when things come up. Romeo has said he'd like to get into counseling for himself, and I'm completely in favor of that. It's just a matter of him actually getting there... initiative isn't his best strength. Hopefully he goes soon, but in the meantime, we can go to mine together for our "us" issues.
SNeacail - You're probably right about the way he's seeing the "explaining" I'm doing. I guess I have a hard time apologizing when I don't think what I did was inherently wrong. I can look at other ways of responding besides just immediately trying to explain what I did and why, though. Maybe validating his feelings on the matter, or some such. I will try and make a list of the things he brought up that I can remember, and maybe we can pick them apart in counseling next time.
nycindie - Exactly! I really don't like it when issues are bottled up inside and thrown back at me later. I did try and point that out during the fight, but I think it was just the wrong time to address it. Things had already gotten too heated by that point. (Probably didn't help any that this whole thing happened after a few drinks.) I think the main thing we need to work on is making sure he does feel it's ok to talk about stuff as it occurs. I think he has a hard time with that, and I wonder if something about the way I communicate makes him feel like it's not OK to bring things up if they're not a huge problem already.
Today we're doing alright, though. We talked yesterday, and although we didn't really go in depth into all of the things we talked about in that fight, we did talk about some important things. I still don't know that there's been resolution, but we're in an affectionate and loving place regardless, so I think that's a good thing.
Vix for short.
Last edited by vixtresses; 08-04-2011 at 06:53 PM.