this is a good expression of what is on your mind...
be that as it may, you have multiple caring relationships of varying degrees of intimacy and intensity both physical and emotional. Narrowing your focus to what is "traditionally" and generationally accepted in our American society...ie: marriage or a committed, monogamous relationship between a man and a woman...with the occasional dish on the side that no one talks about...is powerfully ingrained in the tail-end of the baby boom era we hail from.
You opened MY mind to sooo much and it has been a wondrous time to see that life and loves, like fireflies on a still summer night, are all around. Sometimes one firefly lights on a hand,and stays, another lands then flits away...
This forum, it feels like a home for people who think like me....and i always felt so out of place NOT following "the route" almost every woman of my age I know, has tried and succeeded at, or tried and failed at, multiple times.
All knowledge, the totality of all questions and answers, is contained in the dog--Franz Kafka