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Old 08-04-2011, 06:24 PM
MorningTwilight MorningTwilight is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 146

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
But you don't stay locked at home for fear of walking in front of a cake store, do you? You could go out with other goals, and roll with it if you meet someone...
It seems like you're trying to sacrifice yourself for something she's likely not to appreciate. First, I'm not sure how she'd know if you went out or not.
Am I not obligated to tell her, or at least, not to conceal it from her?

Originally Posted by Tonberry
And secondly, from following the thread it seems to me that if you told her about the sacrifice of yours hoping she'll be thankful, instead she'll get upset that you consider it a sacrifice to begin with.
That's insightful. Thank you.

Originally Posted by Tonberry
And really, it all feels like trying to feel sorry for yourself. And I'm not saying your situation is easy, it isn't, but you can still enjoy life a bit. You sound like you want to deny yourself every pleasure for fear that your wife might be upset otherwise. That doesn't seem very healthy.
I'm sure it's not. Spending time alone, it's been frighteningly easy to convince myself that my only choices are the misery of self-repression on the one hand (in order to keep my wife), and losing my marriage on the other (in order to not have to repress myself). I hope that doesn't become true in the end. It's hard to have patience sometimes.
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