SisterWoman, this man is playing you. He knows where your buttons are and just how to push them.
For whatever reason, you have placed yourself and your needs in subservience to him/his. Stop it. (Don't beat yourself up too much about it, though. Lots of us make this mistake. But it obviously isn't working for you or you wouldn't be looking for our help.)
You deserve respect and fair treatment. But you have either taught him or allowed him to treat you poorly. Change that.
IMO, you need a clean slate and an even playing field, and you will never get it with him, certainly not as long as he maintains his current attitudes toward you/your relationship. And that's whether Cowgirl Cathy is in the picture or not.
Make time and space for you to get your head together and figure out what YOU really want and need. Give yourself time and space to heal. Remember how to love yourself, and treat yourself with the respect and compassion you offer to others.
I wish you Godspeed, and a safe and happy landing.