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Old 08-04-2011, 01:30 AM
gwendolenthefair's Avatar
gwendolenthefair gwendolenthefair is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 62

Why are you encouraging him to be poly, when he (or you two) have so many problems around sex?

I'm not exactly encouraging him. He put a photo back up on the dating site without consulting me about it. I didn't argue, and I even gave him a better photo than the one he first used. You might say I'm enabling, but not encouraging.

I know that he'd like to have another relationship, even though he doesn't want it as strongly as I do, for myself. I want him to have what he wants, but not if it has a bad effect on our own relationship.

Why not just rebuild your own sexual relationship with him for a good long while, now that's he's gotten medical attention? Not saying you, yourself, can't date, but if his self esteem is that low (imagining you're not satisfied during foreplay?) it seems he can barely handle sex with his long time, hopefully trusted, partner, much less with a new person.

I totally agree. But he doesn't. Although he says that what he wants now is friendship, he just wants the POSSIBILITY of things going further.

OTOH, if he's afraid he's not pleasing to you in bed, maybe you seeing other guys is also a blow to his seemingly shaky self esteem at this time.

He says this is not the case. We've been poly for a while now and he has never been jealous or threatened by anyone I've dated in the slightest.

Last edited by gwendolenthefair; 08-04-2011 at 01:03 PM.
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