Originally Posted by Anneintherain
If you decide you do want to try poly, a good step is to probably stop half-joking, but to be clear with yourself and her about what your hopes and desires are. I know for me those "I want this but I'm too scared to say so seriously so I'm going to act like it's a joke so you won't be pissed off if I mean what I'm saying" suggestions keep trust from building in my relationships.
My husband and I used to joke about me having "boyfriends" but it really was a joke up until a couple of years ago. Now that I have a boyfriend, we still joke about it.