Originally Posted by febus68
i suggest non-traditional meet-ups in a half-joking way but she is very conservative and very monogamous. i try to downplay my poly-minded ways
If you decide you do want to try poly, a good step is to probably stop half-joking, but to be clear with yourself and her about what your hopes and desires are. I know for me those "I want this but I'm too scared to say so seriously so I'm going to act like it's a joke so you won't be pissed off if I mean what I'm saying" suggestions keep trust from building in my relationships.
I have heard people who have been openly poly go back to monogamy because they love somebody who isn't comfortable with it, but I don't recall hearing any stories of anybody who has been mono for years and now thinks they don't want to be, deciding to stay mono anyway and be happy about it. I'm sure they are out there, but it seems unlikely since you have actually brought it up to her that you're interested in dating other women, that it's just a passing phase?
Is there a chance you'd decide to stay with her, say you'll be monogamous, then cheat instead because you feel resentment? Have you discussed her options for dating others too if you are dating other women?