Originally Posted by LScribbens
Some mono's will think in the back of their mind that a poly will change once they get in a relationship with them, or that they can change a poly to mono. And in turn, a poly may think that they the mono person will become poly for them once they are in a relationship..
Very good point LS.
I'm sure this does occur often in these situations.
It's about achieving abjectives in my opinion. The mono person may see the objective to "convert" the poly person so they will have them all to themselves. The poly person may want to gain more freedom in pursuing other relationships by encouraging the mono to pursue poly and thus "converting" them.
I wouldn't want Redpepper to be mono because it would hurt her husband and family dynamic. I don't believe she would want me to be poly because it would take away some of the attributes she enjoys in our relationship.
To aproach a relationship with the expectations of shaping your partner in any way (not just related to mono/poly) is the wrong footing IMO.