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Old 08-03-2011, 09:13 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by MorningTwilight View Post
I'm still living in fear, it seems, of meeting someone and connecting, as I'm going to get heartbroken (again) when i cannot follow through. Perhaps I am reading more into the situation than actually exists, but I feel like I would be sneaking around if I went out, even if looking merely for social interaction and a little flirting.
Come on now, you can trust yourself to exercise restraint. You seem to be saying that the mere sight of someone attractive will make you fall instantly in love with them and your penis will jump out of your pants. You're not at the mercy of your lusts and desires, man.

I think this kind of thinking may be coming out of your wishing things would move more quickly and perhaps feeling a little sorry for yourself. I think you can go out and enjoy attractions to people, see who you're drawn to, and even flirt a little without worrying. No one's gonna break your heart by fluttering their eyelids at you.

If I were you, I'd focus on the positive - the fact that your wife has begun to allow talking about it, despite her fears, and acknowledged that you have attractions. This may not seem enough for you, but it's HUGE for her. Look around you and enjoy other things beside people, too - the sunshine, your surroundings, the good things in your life. Never hurts to count our blessings.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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